Rules in the Avengers
by KaboomStacho
Summary: Title says it all.
1. Chapter 1

**Since our first story was deleted...here is the new version with a story part so it wont be deleted...hopefully. Anyways enjoy!**

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**List of rules in the Avengers:**

Rule #1- Don't walk behind Thor unless he knows you're there; you will startle him.

**Reason*It was Michael's first day as an assistant for the S.H.I.E.L.D. Agents. He was excited to be able to work with the Avengers themselves! As he made his way into the kitchen to fetch a cup of coffee for Tony Stark, he noticed none other than the God of thunder rummaging around in the cabinets looking for something to eat. Without a word Michael walked behind Thor to grab a coffee mug. Unfortunately Michael bumped into Thor who took his hammer and swung it right into Michael, yelling out 'IM VERY STARTLED'. Michael's funeral was held the following week.* **

Rule #2- Please don't leave anymore trails of skittles for Captain America to follow. It's not funny. Well, not to him anyway.

**Reason*Tony and Bruce had bought a 75 cent bag of skittles from the vending machine in the Helicarrier. They got the idea of leaving a trail of skittles that started at Steve Rodgers, also known as Captain America, door all the way to the science lab where the would casually wait. After setting up the trail and knocking on Steve's door, the two science bros ran back to the lab and hid. They poked their heads out the window to find Steve on his hands and knees crawling after the trail of skittles picking one up at a time. He crawled all the way to the laboratory door to find the two men standing and watching him. Immediately Steve got embarrassed, picked up the last skittle, and ran off yelling 'JUST BECAUSE YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS OF SKITTLES DOESN'T MEAN YOU NEED TO USE IT FOR EVIL'***

Rule #3- If you don't want any trouble, I would suggest you not steal Thor's sandals.

Rule #4- Thor is not allowed to wear only his sandals to meetings. It disrupts the worksite.

Rule #5- Please only buy Bruce stretch pants…this is for obvious reasons.

**Reason*One time Bruce was wearing a pair of skinny jeans that one of the assistants bought. He got angry. They didn't stay on. Everyone who was a witness had to go to therapy.***

Rule #6- Be aware that even if Steve doesn't seem upset by the homosexual comments doesn't mean that they don't affect him.

**Reason*After waking up from a nap one day Steve found his shield tampered with. In black sharpie the word 'queer' was writing in large bold letters. He let out a soft cry, "Im no queer" he whispered as he slid on his skin tight spangly uniform.***

Rule #7- Please note that going anywhere near Tony Stark's teddy grahams could end with you being locked in a dark padded cell with only Nickelback playing.

**Reason*Fury was walking down the hallway of the Helicarrier when he heard the sound of Nickelback blasting in one of the near rooms. Fury pounded on the door where it was coming from eventually having to use his gun to shoot the lock off to open it. What he found was stomach churning. He saw one of the new Agents curled up in the corner of the dark room rocking back and forth. Fury shot the speakers that had the music playing and ran over to the Agent. "What happened?" Fury asked kneeling down beside the man. "Don't…eat…the teddy grahams…" he said before passing out. "STARK!" Fury yelled knowing exactly who the culprit was.***

Rules #8- Please don't pop balloons anywhere near Thor; they are loud and hurt his ears.

Rule #9- Just let Bruce win when you are playing super Mario brothers together. If he doesn't win...you will most likely end up buried in the graveyard across the street.

Rule #10- Do not disturb Thor while he is watching his favorite show, ICarly.

**Reason*Natasha, who was told by Fury to gather up the Avengers, walked up to Thor to ask him to join them in the meeting room. "Thor, Fury wants you-" "HOW DARE YOU INTERUPT THIS PROGRAM DEVELOPED BY THE HEAVENS, YOU WITCH!" Thor screamed standing up and punching a fist in the air. Natasha slowly backed away after seeing ICarly playing in the background. Thor could not make it to the meeting.***

Rule #11- Please don't eat crackers in the bathroom. We know its you Steve. You.

Rule #12- Take note that the rule above doesn't just apply to crackers, cookies and other snacks also count…Thor.

Rule #13- Just keep in mind that if you want another cup of coffee you only need to politely ask one of the servers. There is a shortage of cups now that Thor has discovered coffee.

Rule #14- Be aware that Steve has a serious sleep walking problem. DO NOT wake him as he will try to stuff you into the refrigerator.

**Reason*Clint was walking around in the middle of the night keeping an eye on things when he saw into Steve. "Steve!" Clint called unaware of the fact that Steve was actually sleep walking. "Steve!" Clint called again running up to the man dressed in his red white and blue pajamas. Clint put a hand on Steve's back to immediately set off a panic in Steve. "AHHH!" Steve screamed picking Clint up over his head and began running down the hallway towards the kitchen. "NO STEVE NOT THE FRIDGE!" Clint yelled trying to get away from the crazed man from the 40's. Unfortunately he was unable to and was quickly stuffed into the refrigerator.***

Rule #15- Please be aware that if you are to make Bruce angry, be sure it's in a large environment. He panicked when stuck in the cupboard.


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you all for the support! I will have the next chapter up soon! To be honest im not even sure the other person running this with me has seen the changes I made since she's on vacation...hopefully she will like them. XD But anyway enjoy~~**

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**Part two of the rules:**

Rule #16- No more all you can eat Wednesdays; Thor takes it as a personal challenge to actually try to eat all he can eat. ~

Rule #17- Clint, there is no reason to shoot at everything you think is a target. We get it, you're better than Katniss. ~

**Reason * "Have any of you seen, Clint?" Natasha asked walking into the Avengers party room. (If you are asking yourself what that is, the Avengers party room is where the Avengers have…well, parties. Aren't you glad you asked?) **

"**No, he hasn't shown up at all for train-" "OW!" Everyone turned their head towards the one who yelled. It was Steve. He had a suction cup arrow stuck right on his temple.**

"**Calm down, Spangles." Tony said walking over to Steve pulling the arrow off of his head. "It's just a toy." All of the sudden something was dropped from the ceiling and landed with a thud on the floor. Natasha picked up was she realized now was a book. The Hunger Games.**

"**Clint! We already went over this! You know Tony was just joking about the whole 'Katniss vs. Hawkeye' thing." Natasha said sending a small glare Tony's way. **

"**Say it." A voice said from the dark shadows above. **

"**Clint I already told you-"**

"**SAY IT!"**

"**You would destroy Katniss if you were in the Hunger Games." Natasha said rolling her eyes. Finally a silhouette dropped down from the rafters.**

"**Thank you." He said sliding on his usually sun glasses even though there was no reason to wear them because he was inside.**

"**Katniss is a sixteen year old girl. You're comparing yourself…to a sixteen year old girl, Legolas." Tony said. A soft cry of betrayal and hurt feelings escaped the lips of the man with the suction cup arrows and plastic bow that he bought at Target. Immediately he ran out of the room to once again find a new hiding spot.**

"**So close…" Natasha said walking out of the room.***

Rule #18- Tony once again, stop putting the Captain Americas suit in the dryer. You know it shrinks.

Rule #19- Steve, please stop using Mean Girls quotes in every conversation you have. ~

**Reason * Thor walked in spotting new sandals. Natasha was the first to notice, though it was hard not to as he put his foot on top of the table that she was trying to eat on.**

"**New sandals, Thor?" She asked sliding her plate away from his foot. "They're nice!"**

"**Yeah they look super expensive." Tony said checking out the hip new footwear.**

"**Yeah, totally fetch!" Steve added. Everyone was silent. They glanced over at Steve who just wanted to be accepted by the group. Just once. He stood up from the chair and walked out of the room, not once giving up hope of the power of the Mean Girls quotes he learned. **

"**Maybe Bruce would appreciate them." Steve said aloud to his self. Though he couldn't help but doubt that he would…***

Rule #20- Please remember to remove your shoes before entering the Helicarrier; Fury hates when people track dirt in. And yes Thor, this rule applies to sandals.

Rule #21- Thor, start coming up with better comeback lines when fighting with Loki. The line "Yeah…well….you're adopted!" is getting a bit old.

Rule #22- Don't let Bruce listen to rap music anymore. It only gets him riled up. ~

**Reason * The booming bass could be heard from the main headquarters in the Helicarrier.**

"**You don't think…" Tony started trailing off looking over towards Coulson.**

"**He promised he wouldn't." Coulson added. They looked at each other for a few seconds before jumping up from their chairs and running towards where the loud music was coming from. As they got closer they could hear the chorus of Eminem's hit song 'Lose Yourself' playing inside Bruce's room. Their fears turned into reality when they heard a loud crashing sound from inside the room followed by a roar.**

"**We're too late." Coulson said.**

"**He just lost himself in the music." Tony said.**

"**The moment…he owned it." Coulson added. The two casually walked away when they heard yet another crash from inside the room.***

Rule #23- Steve, we understand you just recently discovered knock-knock jokes, but when you're the only one laughing that means they aren't funny. And if Tony is laughing clearly it's not at the joke. It's at you. ~

**Reason * The Avengers were sitting inside their party room when Steve finally came into join them.  
"Hey! Guys-guys listen to this," Steve started.  
"Not again…" Tony whispered to his best friend AKA science bro AKA Bruce Banner.**

"**Just let him go…" Bruce told Tony putting on a fake smile for Steve. **

"**Knock knock" Steve said grinning.**

"**Who's there?" The rest of them mumbled. **

"**Moo"**

"**Moo who?"**

"**Well make up your mind! Are you a cow or an owl?" Steve said letting out a shrieking laughter afterwards.**

"**That's a good one!" Tony yelled. "You know, that whole getting him out of the ice thing? Yeah that was a bad idea..."Tony whispered afterwards to Bruce.****  
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"**Guys…I got another one-"A groan filled the room from each of the Avengers, with the exception of Steve of course. ***

Rule #24- No more stealing Natasha's cat suit, Steve. We know it's you; we found proof.

Rule #25- Tony please take down the hidden cameras in Steve's room and no more tweeting pictures of him; so if you would please take down the pictures of him in Natasha's cat suit that would be great.

Rule #26- Thor; please stop blasting the song 'Wannabe' by the Spice Girls after midnight. We know that you say it describes how you feel but please just turn it down a few notches. ~

**Reason * "He's doing it again." Natasha said bursting into the lab where Bruce and Tony were working.**

"**Come on, Nat he's just-"**

"**Shh! He's coming." Natasha said making sure they weren't talking about Thor's problem with the Spice Girls when he was walking by.**

"**I SHALL TELL YOU WHAT IT IS THAT I WHAT, WHAT IT IS THAT I VERY MUCH WANT! THUS YOU SHOULD TELL ME WHAT IT IS THAT YOU WANT!" Thor yelled while walking down the hallway past the laboratory doors. **

"**At least he's not in his room anymore…I swear my entire room was shaking it was that loud." Natasha said walking out of the lab back to her room. Unfortunately Thor, a few seconds later, made his way back to his room to once again blast his favorite tune.***

Rule #27- No Steve, having an Avengers bake sale isn't a good idea. Please stop bringing it up in the meetings.

Rule #28- No more listening to the song "Im Blue" by Eiffel 65. It's offensive to Bruce.

Rule #29- Tony please stop telling Thor that wearing different colored skinny jeans is a good way to express himself.

Rule #30- Finally the show Jackass will be banned. Unfortunately there are a few people that don't listen to the warning in the first few seconds of the show and actually try doing the stunts. ~

**Reason * "I am Thor of Asgard and this is Jackass!" A voice bellowed from the room next to Fury's.**

**Fury jumped up from his seat and quickly made his way into the room mumbling 'not this again' over and over to himself. **

"**What the hell are you doing?" Fury yelled looking at Thor who was perched on a skateboard on the refrigerator that had a ramp running down it that led to a stack of boxes.**

**Thor let out a war cry and attempted to skateboard down the ramp only to fall onto his back not making it anywhere near the boxes.**

**Steve, Tony and Clint who were all watching and making secret bets on how far they thought he would make it took off running when Fury began yelling at the top of his lungs.***

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**Let me know what you think and if you have any ideas for any rules! Thanks for reading! ~ **


	3. Chapter 3

**Thank for all of the reviews and alerts/ favorites! You all are awesome! :) Enjoy~**

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**Part Three of the Rules:**

Rule #31- Whenever Thor yells out phrases like "Im quenched!" or throws a cup onto the ground and yells "ANOTHER!" just spray him in the face with water from a squirt bottle. He needs to learn about inside voices. It's the only way. ~

**Reason * Tony casually walked around the Helicarrier looking for something to do and someone to annoy. He found himself inside of the Avengers kitchen where Thor had already finished off two boxes of Pop-tarts, and had a cup of coffee beside him. Tony leaned up against the wall and watched him down the mug of coffee and throw it on the floor, having it break into several pieces, "ANOTHER!" Thor yelled punching his fist into the air. Not a second later did a new assistant run in, squirt bottle in hand, and spray Thor in the face with the water inside. "BAD THOR!" They said crossing their arms. "Look what you did!" Thor looked down at the mess he had made then back to the assistant. "Im sorry…" Thor started. "But I do believe I said ANOTHER!" He yelled and again his fist was up in the air. "NO YELLING!" The assistant said spraying him the face several more times. Tony only smiled and walked away, Fury believed Thor would change, however everyone else doubted that would happen.***

Rule #32- No one gets to be the car in Monopoly if you all are fighting over it. Unless Bruce is playing. Then let him be whatever he wants to be. ~

**Reason * It was the annual game night in the Avengers, everyone with the exception of Bruce was down in the party room. "Ok so like always…I'll be the hat." Natasha said grabbing the small silver piece. She nervously looked up at the rest of the boys who were all eyeing the same piece, the car. **

"**Ok, boys remember…it's just a game. It's just a piece of metal." She said nervously running a hand through her red hair. "Well, I think it's pretty obviously who will be getting the car." Tony said picking it up. "So, Cap, who are you going to be?" Captain America looked up at him, anger building in his eyes. "You said…I could be the car this time." He said through his teeth. "Yes, I did. Its called lying, Spangles." Tony said tossing the piece back and forth between his hands. It was silent in the room, the tension was building. After a few seconds there was a red white and blue blur that flew in between everyone. The two were wrestling around for the car, Clint and Thor joining them. Natasha watched the immensely stupid fight going on between the four. "Hey, Natasha!" A voice said from behind her. Nat turned her head to see Bruce walk into the party room. "Monopoly! I love Monopoly!" Bruce said sitting on the couch. "Hey, has anyone taken the car yet?" He asked looking around the pieces. The four looked up from their fight. "No…um here." Steve said grabbing the piece from Tony finally and handed it to Bruce. The others nodded and sat down around the game board. "Is there blood on this?" Bruce asked looking at the car. Tony wiped off the bit of blood that was dripping from his lip, "No." Tony said looking away from everyone. Everyone watched in jealous rage as Bruce played with the car.***

Rule #33- Steve, please ignore Tony when he asks if you want to play hide and seek. You know he's lying when he says he will look for you. ~

**Reason * "Hey! Hey Steve!" Tony said jogging up to the super soldier. "Want to play a game?" Steve's face brightened up with excitement. "Ooo! A game?" He asked clapping his hands. "What kind of game?" "Its called hide and go seek." Tony said trying to keep a smirk from forming on his face. "It's where you hide and I look for you, ok?" "Isn't it like that other game where-" "No it's nothing like the last game." Tony assured him. Steve smiled brightly and nodded. "Ok…I'll count to 30 and you go hide!" Tony said putting on fake excitement for Steve. Tony covered his eyes and began counting from one all the way to thirty. Tony looked around a bit before walking back to his room to go take a nap. No one had seen Steve for days. ***

Rule #34- Please, new Agents, if Tony says the only way you can be apart of S.H.I.E.L.D. is if you super glue Tic Tacs on Bruce while he's sleeping, just ignore him. We have lost too many newbie's that way…

Rule #35- We don't know how Bruce's pants stay on when he turns into the Hulk. Though we don't know why, we are thankful for it. Now stop asking.

Rule #36- Bedazzling Cap's suit isn't funny Tony. Mostly for the fact he thinks it looks nice.

Rule #37- Whoever is stealing Thor's clothes while he is showering please stop. It doesn't upset him. He simply walks around in the nude as he finds it freeing. Stop encouraging him. ~

**Reason * "HA! HA!" A deep voice laughed from around the main headquarters of the Helicarrier. Everyone turned their head to see a very nude Thor casually making his way across the floor. "Not again!" Fury said, with his eyes closed. "I CANNOT BE TAMED!" Thor bellowed striking a pose before continuing his way out of the headquarters. Everyone was silent after that. "Ok, everyone go back to work…just a naked God." Agent Hill said waving her arms to get everyone's attention.***

Rule #38- We know you have found a new passion for karaoke Clint, but honestly I think we should focus more on the mission. After, we can work on creating Karaoke Mondays. ~

**Reason * Natasha decided to go find her assassin buddy to spend the day with. As she walked around looking for him she couldn't help but hear a screeching sound coming from one of the rooms. As she got closer she began to understand the words, "STREET LIGHT PEOOOOOOPLE! DON'T STOP BELIEVING!" She knew very well who it was. It was indeed the person she was looking for, her assassin friend. And he was singing karaoke. Journey to be more specific. She knew then that she didn't want to hang out with him today as he seemed to be a bit busy with his…karaoke. She swears to this day when she was walking away he just began the song "Man, I feel like a Woman."***

Rule #39- There is a point in which being confident leads to being weird, and wearing a picture of your face on a T-shirt Tony is going a bit too far don't you think?

Rule #40- If you have anything to say, just say it to someone rather than posting sticky notes everywhere, Thor. ~

**Reason * There were pick and purple sticky notes everywhere. There wasn't a single place where you could look that didn't have at least ten. Each one read something completely different. One of the ones Clint had grabbed to read had read, "Those jellies of doughnuts are divine!" Another read "I drew a mustache on the large green mans face!" Fury came into the room and began tearing down as many as he could. "I ALREADY TOLD HIM ABOUT THIS!" Fury growled to himself. "Good morning." A voice said from the midst of the agents poking their heads in to see what was going on. It was Bruce. He had a curly French mustache drawn on his face with what looked like a sharpie.**

"**Holy mother of god…" Clint said knowing this couldn't possibly end well. Everyone began running for their lives, with the exception of Bruce as he had no idea what was going on. He did pick up the little paper Clint had dropped on his way out. As he read it he immediately ran over to a surface that could show his reflection. He saw the curly mustache. That was when it happened; he turned into the Hulk. Unfortunately the mustache was still very noticeable even after the transformation. After that he was known as 'Le Hulk'.***

Rule #41- Remember to unwrap the starbursts whenever you buy them, Steve gets confused and eats the wrapper.

Rule #42- Tony, we will not tell you again. Please remember to hide your prophylactics as some mistake them for balloons…Steve.

Rule #43- Nobody put any of their laundry with Natasha's as the last few times most of her items went missing…Clint.

Rule #44- Please don't ask about Natasha's tattoo of a butterfly flying through a ring of fire. Apparently a lot more happened in Budapest then we know about.

Rule #45- Lastly stop crossing out the vegetables on the grocery list and replacing them with pop-tarts.

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**So just a side note, Jeremy Renner who plays Hawkeye/Clint Barton has a really good voice in real life. You should youtube him. Seriously. Anyways let me know what you think! Hope you enjoyed~ :) Thanks also to everyone sending ideas! If you have any more please feel free to send them by review or PM! ~**


	4. Chapter 4

**Sorry it has taken me so long to write these...lots of drama going on at the moment. Anyway here is part four! Oh and if you sent in ideas be sure to keep an eye out for them next chapter. Dont worry...I will give you credit for them in the authors note! :) Thanks so much for the favorites, alerts, and reviews! :D **

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**Part Four of the Rules:**

Rule #46- If you can not control your emotions when watching the Bachelorette, Thor, we will turn the cable off. We mean it.

Rule #47- Who ever introduced Bruce to the movie 'Footloose' will you please come forward and turn yourself in? Though the whole punch dancing out his anger has helped keep him calm, yes…but it's getting really uncomfortable to be around.

Rule #48- Tony; teaching Steve 'how to play games' by showing him the wrong way to play will not help you get any better.

Rule #49- Starting a boy band is out of the question. ~

**Reason *Fury had another mission for the Avengers and was pacing the room as he waited for them to join him. It was taking them much longer than usual for them to get to the meeting room. Fury was about to call Stark to ask where he was when the doors slid open. There was fog filling the room now and laser lights were shooting everywhere. In walked the Avengers; they were all wearing white skinny jeans, white tank tops and different colored vests. The melody of a washed up boy band song played in behind them. Before Steve could walk over and grab the microphone to begin a song they had spent all night writing, Fury stopped them. "Leave." He ordered. They all looked at him shocked. "But I was about to begin my solo!" Steve said. "Its called, 'let me Avenge your heart'" "LEAVE!" Fury yelled, they didn't ask questions this time. They all scattered out leaving Fury to deal with this crisis on his own. "I knew I should've gotten those X-Men instead…" Fury mumbled to himself.**

Rule #50- Please remember that there is no such thing as an all pop-tart diet. And no we are not going to sponsor the very first one.

Rule #51- Never tell Bruce to 'settle' for Rice Krispies when ever we are out of the Cocoa Krispies. Whenever we are out you find a way to go to the store and buy that shit. ~

**Reason * Natasha and Clint walked in with the grocery bags filled with several different flavors of Pop Tarts and packages of Skittles. Natasha was setting all of the items out of the first bag onto he counter when she suddenly stopped. "Clint" She said staring at the box of Rice Krispies. "Yeah?" He asked putting away the food in the fridge. "I told you Cocoa Krispies." She said not once taking her eyes off of the box. "They were out. So I got those, what's the big deal?" he asked her. "Bruce specifically asked for Cocoa Krispies, Clint. Not regular Rice Krispies." She told her slamming the box down on the table. "Thanks to you we're all going to be-" "Hey guys!" Bruce said walking into the room cutting off Natasha. They both kept their cool, Natasha hid the box of cereal inside of the bag. "Hey Bruce" They mumbled sending each other glances of horror. "You went shopping? Great! I was hoping I could have some of the Cocoa Kri-" "You know Bruce…I was just thinking." Clint started. "I could make you breakfast this morning. I mean Cocoa Krispies aren't going to do anything for your figure so I can make you something healthy!" Natasha rolled her eyes. "Are you calling me fat Clint?" Bruce asked crossing his arms. Natasha didn't know whether to butt in or run for her life. "No! Im not…erm…NATASHA GOT YOU THE WRONG CEREAL!" "IT WASN'T ME! IT WAS HIM! HE GOT YOU RICE KRISPIES INSTEAD OF-" "Its ok…just…I'll have the Rice Krispies…" Bruce said in a calm manner. The two assassins exchanged glances before handing him a bowl and the cereal. Bruce smiled and got his food and left to go back to his room. As he stared down at his Rice Krispies he let out a soft cry of anger. ~**

Rule #52- Steve please stop eating Clint's ChapStick. It's not good for you and also Clint has a serious chapped lip problem.

Rule #53- Someone please go to Blockbuster and rent the movie 'Reindeer Games'. That is one of the only requests sent by Loki.

Rule #54- Thor, 'Shamwows' can't solve all of your problems. ~

**Reason* During one of the many battles the Avengers have done in there time, Thor was having a bit of trouble fighting off some of the hundreds of robots attacking the city. Using his 'quick thinking' Thor pulled out an orange cloth from his pocket, it was a Shamwow. He threw it directly at one of the robots letting out a victory cry. The robots simply stopped for a second before once again fighting with the Asgardian. Yes, the Avengers came out on top today, but no thanks to the Shamwow. **

Rule #55- No more calling Pizza Hut and ordering pizzas. How do you expect them to deliver it to the Helicarrier? ~

**Reason* "Yes, I'll have an extra large pizza with-" "I want pepperoni." Steve said interrupting Tony's phone call. Tony ignored him and continued on with his order. "Sausage and mushrooms-" "No I don't like mushrooms, I want pepperoni." Steve said, still believing Tony was going to listen. "For the love of god Spangles shut up!" Tony yelled, covering up the bottom half of the phone so the person on the other side wouldn't hear. "I WANT THE BREAD OF MANY CHEESES!" Thor bellowed from the other side of the room. "Yes Thor, you will get your cheesy bread. Natasha, I assume you want like a salad or something?" Tony asked. "Tony?" Steve said tapping on the Billionaires shoulder. "Tony...hey Tony. Tony, hey-" "WHAT?" Tony yelled turning to Steve. "Can you get me a pepperoni pizza?" Steve asked. Tony stared at him for a few seconds before lifting the phone back up to his ear. "And finally we will get a medium pepperoni pizza" Tony mumbled, Steve let out a Napoleon Dynamite sounding 'yessss'. "Wait no don't hang up-" Tony paused and stared down at the phone. "They hung up again. Apparently ordering to an aircraft 'isn't possible'." Tony said shaking his head. "So no pizza?" Steve asked, tears forming in his eyes. "Nope." Tony said, you could hear disappointment in his voice as well. Thor picked up the table Natasha and Clint were sitting at and threw it across the room letting out an angry yell. Everyone was silent until finally Tony got an idea, "Lets try Papa Johns."**

Rule #56- We are not building a Shawarma inside of the Helicarrier. No exceptions Tony.

Rule #57- No more water balloon fights. It usually ends in a disaster; Steve slips on some of the water and hurts his head then Tony laughs and it turns into this whole big thing…

Rule #58- Stop singing the song 'Jesus Take the Wheel!' whenever having trouble in the midst of battle. It won't help.

Rule #59- Wrapping saran wrap around Thors door was funny the first time, now it's just getting old Tony. Besides I think he is starting to catch on. ~

**Reason* "Okay we only have ten minutes to get this done, are you ready?" Tony asked Clint whose arms were filled with boxes of saran wrap they had stolen from the kitchen. "Im ready." Clint said, he was wearing all camouflage, though there was no reason for it. Maybe it was just for the fact that he was excited someone asked him for help with a prank instead of being the target for one. Clint handed Tony a few boxes of the saran wrap before summer salting towards the door sending Tony hand gestures like they were on an actual mission. Tony of course ignored him and began pulling saran wrap out of the box and sticking it onto the door that led to Thors room. Inside Thor was taking his usual 5 hour nap, though it was almost time for ICarly so they had a limited amount of time before he would wake. They had spent the ten minutes layering the clear plastic over the door, from top to bottom. With one minute to spare the two positioned themselves behind a wall to make sure Thor wouldn't be able to see them, but they would be able to see him. Right on time the door opened, Thor took a step out only to be stopped by the saran wrap. "WHY DO YOU TARGET ME YOU FOWL CLEAR WALL" Thor yelled getting more tangled in the saran wrap. "HOW DARE YOU KEEP ME FROM MY TELEVISION PROGAM!" Tony and Clint's work was done. **

Rule #60- Taking Clints arrows and replacing them with those giant pixie sticks wont help you in any situation. Ever. If anything it will only turn out much worse. ~

**Reason* "Give me…my kit kat bar." Clint ordered through his teeth. Steve stared at him, kit kat bar in hand, and began slowly opening the wrapper around it. "Don't. You. Dare." Steve said nothing back to Clint who watched in horror as Steve completely ripped off the kit kat wrapper. "I'll give you one more warning." Clint said before preparing to grab his bow. Steve broke off a piece and slowly took a bite, but before Steve could take another bite Clint had his bow in hand and grabbed what he though was an arrow but turned out to be a pixie stick. "What the hell…?" Clint said staring at the pink foot long pixie stick in his hand. He could hear a chuckle from Steve, rage filled the archer. Clint bit off the top of the pixie stick and spit it out before pouring some of the candy dust into his hand then throwing it at Steves face. Steve let out a cry of pain and dropped the kit kat bar, having it fall to the ground. Clint watched as Steve fell to the floor, clenching his face in pain and merely picked up the half eaten candy bar. Clint smiled to himself as he walked away, taking a bite out of the kit kat bar.**

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**Let me know what you think! Thanks so much for your support with the story! If you have any ideas please let me know in a review or PM! Thanks again~**


	5. Chapter 5

**Alright, so I know its been forever since I have updated...but that will change! Thanks to everyone who has stuck with this story! It means a lot that you all like my ridiculous ideas. :) If you have any movies, books, or tv shows that you want me to try to do lists for please send them in! :D Also a special thanks to MysteryGal5, Thalia, and Comiccrazygothgirl for the ideas they sent in, im using yours in this chapter! :)If you have sent in ideas that I didnt use, I didnt skip them, I am just saving them for the next few chapters! I will always give shoutouts to those who do send in ideas! Keep sending them in guys! :D Anyway i'll shut up now...enjoy!  
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**Although the holidays went fairly well judging by the amount of sass and sarcasm that this team has acquired, we have a few extra rules to keep in mind for the next season. That is, of course, if everyone manages to stay alive in the time being:**

Holiday Rule #1- We understand that it's difficult to find the right gift for Bruce, but Tony, the fact that you have him once again wearing not only skinny jeans, but v neck t-shirts as well is more than unforgivable. Is this a game to you, Tony?

Holiday Rule #2- Tony, tricking Steve into buying Natasha risqué lingerie for Christmas is not funny. What part of 'trained assassin' do you not understand?

Holiday #3- Natasha, although we appreciate your not wanting to waste any gifts, we don't find it necessary to give your unused gift from Steve/Tony to Thor. Yes, he may use it, but to be quite honest we don't need an enormous asgardian blond man prancing around in see-through lingerie.

Holiday Rule #4- Never again will there be another 'Avengers holiday card'.

**Reason: "This going to be super fun!" Steve exclaimed as he and Bruce they waited patiently for the others to show for the picture. He was wearing a very snug sweater that displayed a large snowman with mittens on it.**

**"I don't understand why we have to wear _matching_ sweaters." Bruce mumbled, pulling at the itchy fabric that was covering his torso. "I mean couldn't we have just-wait, why aren't you wearing your sweater?"**

**This was asked to Tony, who waltzed in wearing not only one of his usual AC/DC t-shirts, but wearing a loose fitting Santa's cap; Natasha, Clint and Thor came in behind him wore their normal attire.**

**Steve was already behind the camera and pressed the countdown button and quickly jogged back into place for the picture, "EVERYONE SMIL- NO BRUCE!"**

**The enormous green rage monster, as Tony so fittingly put it, managed to destroy every Christmas decoration that Steve and Thor had so carefully put up, and stormed out of the room, but not before a flash went off.**

**A few hours later, after Bruce calmed down, they pulled up the picture that had managed to be taken. All you could see what green. Lots and lots of green.**

**"At least that's a Christmas color, right?" Clint asked with a shrug. ~**

Holiday Rule #5- Thor, please do not catch squirrels and wrap them for people. Not only is it harmful to the squirrels but its very unsanitary.

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**Back to normal rules!**

Rule #61-Clint, if you continue to write your uncomfortable poetry and unusually lengthy love notes write Natasha, we will have to ask you to leave. And although you believe you are doing this anonymously, the whole sticking the notes on the wall with an arrow thing sort of gave it away.

Rule #62- No Dance Dance Revolution. Simple as that.

Rule #63- Newbies, keep in mind that asking Natasha 'what happened in Budapest' will get you fired. That is if you manage to survive before we are informed of the news. We've already lost too many that way.

Rule #64-Never reenact cooking show competitions.

**Reason: "Welcome to the Avengers edition of 'Chopped'! I will be your host, Mr. Clint Barton-A.K.A. an archer who will always out-do Katniss-"**

**"Clint follow the script!" Steve urged from the other end of the kitchen.**

**"Im just making a point that she doesn't deserve her own book or movie! Its such bullshi-"**

**"Ok, I will be the cohost, Natasha Romanoff!" Natasha quickly added. "Meet our three contestants- first we have Mr. Tony Stark- a man who has no self-awareness or shame in what he says." She started, Tony merely nodded behind her. "Next we have Mr. Steve Rogers- a man who is roughly in his seventies and doesn't properly know how to use a dictionary and uses words incorrectly!" Steve was too busy getting pumped up for the competition to hear what Natasha had said. "And-"**

**"-And lastly" Clint said, interrupting Natasha. "Mr. Thor Odinson- his passions include cats, crimping his hair, and playing with his hammer!" A war cry came from the furthest end of the kitchen. "We have our judges- Agent Maria Hill, Agent Nick Fury, and Bruce Banner; if cooking for Mr. Banner here doenst give you incentive to try to cook well, than I don't know what will!" Clint said, giving his impression of a stereotypical reality show host, topping it off with a fake laugh track; fortunately he made use of the iCarly sound effect remote that Thor gave to everyone for Christmas.**

**"For the first round, we have given the contestants a variety of ingredients that they will have to use. The ingredients include; pasta, bologna, skittles, pop tarts, and ground coffee! This looks like a tough one, am I right Natasha?"**

**"It sure does, Clint, looks like the chefs have already began preparing their meals! They each have a half hour to finish their dishes. Lets talk with the judges!" Natasha said, getting rather into this game. ~**

**After the time clock ran out, Natasha and Clint took their place s besides the judges.**

**"Right, bring your plates up to the front!" Clint said, all three 'cooks' did, though they topped each dish off with a lid so you couldn't see what they had made.**

**"We will start with off with Steve Rogers dish- Steve what did you make for the judges?" Natasha asked.**

**Steve pulled the top off of the dish to display a neatly prepared dish, the judges 'ooh' and 'awe'd as they saw the dish.**

**"I made a pop-tart crusted bologna, with alfredo pasta, garnished with coffee and a hint of honey." Steve said with a nod.**

**"Im…im not eating that." Maria said, throwing up in her mouth a bit. The plate looked beautiful, however, the smell began to reach each of the judges noses. And it wasnt good.**

**"You know what?" Steve began pulling off his 'kiss the chef' apron and ovens mitts that still on both hands for some reason, "I don't need this. I made a beautiful dish. BEAUTIFUL!"**

**The group watched as Steve ran out of the room in tears.**

**"Anyway" Clint said gaining the attention. "Next is Tony-"**

**"Yeah don't bother I didn't make anything." Tony assured.**

**"Alrighty, then that leaves Thor! Thor what did you make for the judges?" Clint asked, watching Thor pull the top off of the plate. "Um…Thor?"**

**"Yes?"**

**"That's…how did you-" Clint trailed off as he stared at the live squirrel that sat on the tray. There was nothing else. Just the squirrel. "How did you even get that squirrel? You didn't even leave the kitchen!"**

**"HOW DARE YOU QUESTION MY WAYS!" Thor bellowed, causing the squirrel to run off. "WAIT, CARL NO!"**

**They watched as the blond man chased after his precious Carl.~**

Rule #65- No more book clubs. There's this whole thing about whether or not Harry Potter should be accepted because Thor believes it encourages witchcraft. He won't have any of it.

Rule #66- Steve, the term 'fangirling' shouldn't be used by grown men. You're only giving Tony a reason to bully you.

Rule #67- Playing a live action version of Mario Kart with go karts tony built out of SHIELDs tools and weapons will be forever banned.

Rule #68- Tony selling pictures of the Avengers to the paparazzi is frowned upon. Especially if those include nude pictures. Please, don't ask who the nude pictures are of, let's just drop this okay?

Rule #70- You may have noticed that we skipped rule 69. This is only because the men on this team have the maturity of a 13 year old boy.

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**Thanks again for reading! :D**


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